The WoodRocket Christmas Special: A Load of Christmas

"Hello boys and girls of legal age."


What do you get if the MST3k crew watched porn instead of ancient public domain creature features and if instead of Mike Nelson and his crew you had a collection of funny writers and porn performers? Well, you’d get’s 2015 Christmas Special “A Load of Christmas”. The golden era XXX-mas movie “Spreading Joy” is hilariously commented on in the tradition of MST3k by’s writer Seth’s Beard, Porn-Parody Writer/Director Lee Roy Myers, Porn Performer/Model Vuko and X-Rated ventriloquist cam girl Veronica Chaos. I will admit, its a weird experience combining laughter and erections. My experience with that combination is limited mostly to all my ex-girlfriends laughing at all of my past erections attempts and I am pleased to say that watching this Christmas Special was a much less sexually scarring more pleasant time than that. I think what I found most surprising, well, other than the small person sex scene, was just how funny everyone was. They each have a special affinity and talent for the rapid fire non sequitur humor that fuels this style of show. Meaning to watch a few minutes I found myself drawn into the whole hour, laughing my ass off.

Uncle Milty as Santa spreading Susan Hart as Ms. Claus in "Spreading Joy"
Uncle Milty as Santa spreading Susan Hart as Ms. Claus in “Spreading Joy”

See below for my 5 favorite funny bits that you’ll hear (while watching naughty bits).

  1. “Its the Burt Reynolds of porn, Squirt Reynolds. (Referring to classic pornstar Paul Barresi and his Reynolds-esque mustache and chest hair).
  2. “She’s not wet, she’s just crying on the inside”
  3. “You know what they say about kissing someone under the camel toe”
  4. “Looks like he’s trying to spit his bubble gum out in zero gravity.” (referring to a close up vaginal oral shot)
  5. “Girls just wanna have fun-alingus.”

Tom Byron telling his parents (Paul Barresi & Rikki Blake) that he's about to "hit the sack"
Tom Byron telling his parents (Paul Barresi & Rikki Blake) that he’s about to “hit the sack”

Taking a spin on the site after watching, I now realize this crossroads of humor and sex is WoodRocket’s wheelhouse. Its so great to see creators trying things in this space. If you haven’t noticed by now, Rawket Lawnchair exists at a similar crossroads though I’m sure far less half naked actresses are walking around my office than theirs. They won me over with a simple, funny, well executed idea and it looks like there are plenty more to be found in their archives. A little over a week after its release its hovering around 15,000 views and its not because a lack of quality, its because a lack of distribution. Since its still technically a hardcore film a space like YouTube and Netflix where this has the potential of going viral is not an option. Porn still doesn’t have a cohesive ecosystem that non-adult video does. Maybe one day there will be an adult section on Netflix but till then, visit their website and Twitter and see why my sides hurt and my pants are tight.


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