Top 25 Pervy Moments From The Queen’s Blade Series

For me the Queen’s Blade series is the yardstick by which all cheesecake anime series should be measured. The fanservice is relentless. The four different series that make up the Queen’s Blade collection feature more bare chested action and screams of agony than WrestleMania I – V combined. If you haven’t seen this series first make sure the cold water in your shower works and then check out the review of the first volume of “Kweensu-bladu” before diving into spoiler land below. If you just came for the jubblies, then you are in the right place.


1. Melona choking out Leina till she wets herself and blacks out.

The first of not one but TWO urination scenes in the first episode of Queen's Blade: The Exiled Virgin
The first of not one but TWO urination scenes in the first episode of Queen’s Blade: The Exiled Virgin.

They waste absolutely no time diving into the WTFuckery. The weird factor of the series was dialed back as the series goes on but its alive and well here in the first few episodes.


2. Risty’s version of handcuffs.

Queen's Blade 1 EP 1 Leina and Risty
Risty marching Leina Vance back to her family’s castle to collect the bounty in Episode 1.

As with any captured fugitive you have to tie them up to make sure they don’t escape. While a simple rope handcuff knot would have been perfectly appropriate to restrain Leina, Risty, in true Queen’s Blade style instead opts to tie her up in a full on bondage-style Karada rope dress to march her home to her family.


3. Melona’s “special” attack.

Queen's Blade 1 EP 1 Leina and Risty fight
Melona’s special attack from episode 1. Just one example of the special blend of medieval fantasy and sexual nightmares that Queen’s Blade so excels at delivering.

As if I needed another reason to fear women after seeing the fanged vagina from Wicked City, now I have to add breasts that can melt you with their acid breast milk to the list.


4. Melona’s exploding tits.

In case you were wondering what happens when you block the nipples of an acidic breast milk shooting shapeshifting assassin with metal armor. From the shark jumping first episode.

I wonder if the animators (who also have done numerous Hentai titles) were reading the script and after a career of drawing tentacle rape and monster sex thought exploding breasts wasn’t all that unusual.


5. Echinda and Leina’s oil wrestling match.

Queen's Blade 1 EP 3 Echidna and Leina Oil Fight
Echidna continues the Leina abuse in episode 3’s oil wrestling match.

Queen’s Blade is if nothing else sleazy thorough, they leave absolutely no pervy stone unturned. Instead of Leina’s first real battle being a gladiator style match in the indoor colosseum, they have her participate in barely clothed oil wrestling match.


6. Setra in general.

Of course Meance's living scepter Setra is a dirty old man.
Of course Setra, Menace’s living scepter, is a dirty old man. No anime would be complete without one.

I suppose this could be considered Setra’s version of a handshake. What better way is there to get to know a stranger than to put you tongue on their most intimate parts?


7. Every scene Nowa is in.

Episode 4 give us more upsetting underwear-less adventures with Pedio Elf Nowa and her Captain Alleyne. Favorite moments include the not so subtle riding of a giant suggestive water snake.
Episode 4 give us more upsetting underwear-less adventures with Pedio Elf Nowa and her Captain Alleyne. Favorite moments include the not so subtle riding of a giant suggestive water snake.

I understand that the whole Loli thing is ingrained in Japanese culture and the child looking characters in this series are explained away as older then they look because they are some exotic race like Elves or Dwarves but every scene with Nowa and her Loli castmates has me looking outside my windows for Chris Hansen and the To Catch a Predator film crew.


8. The spilled “holy milk”.

"What is this stuff? Its all over my face" The "Holy Milk" scene pretty much sums up the olympic level of perviness found in the Queen's Blade series.
“What is this stuff? Its all over my face” The “Holy Milk” scene from episode 7.

Somewhere in Japan in 2008 a young artist had to come home and when asked by his family what he did that day he had to com up with something other the truth; that he spent the day carefully drawing semen holy milk on the faces and breasts of little girls. Hilariously this is a gag they go back to more than a few times through out the series with escalating enthusiasm.


9. Cattleya in general.

Queen's Blade 1 EP 9 Cattelya
Cattleya in battle in episode 9. If only all blacksmiths looked like her. Skyrim smithing training would have been so much more interesting,

I’m sure there is a very scientific name for her condition but the term I’d use is DAYM GIRL! The shark must be exhausted, he’s been jump constantly since episode one and he’s sailing extra high here in episode 9.


10. The sap armor.

Isn't this how everyone puts on their sap armor?
Echidna and Leina getting ready for training in episode 10. Isn’t this how everyone puts on their sap armor?

Nothing weird here. Just a Sensei and her pupil getting ready for battle. Queen’s Blade’s ability to pervert even the simplest of moments continues to turn me on impress me with every episode.


11. Wildly inappropriate battle attire.

Bonus sadness points if you can name all the characters from only this angle. Left to right Echidna, Nowa, Claudette, Leina, Cattleya, Nanael, Irma, Tomoe and Elina.
Bonus sadness points if you can name all the characters from only this angle. Left to right Echidna, Nowa, Claudette, Leina, Cattleya, Nanael, Irma, Tomoe and Elina.

This series features more g-strings than a Guitar Center stock room. 75% of the cast don’t have pants on for a single frame of the series and as much as I’d like to say its because the animation studio wanted to save some money not drawing details, I doubt thats the reason.


12. Sisterly love.

Elina Vance showing Leina some sisterly love.
Elina Vance greeting Leina in that sisterly way.

Another gag they go back to more often then you go to Barnes and Noble looking for another book to distract you from truly realizing how unhappy you are read. Read about the Izanagi and Izanami if your wondering why you see so much incest in anime. Either that or its hot watch sisters motorboat each other.


13. Master Funikura “motivating” Nyx.

Queen's Blade 2 Nyx and Master Funikura
Nyx and Master Funikura from episode 2 of Queen’s Blade 2: The Evil Eye

The great kung-fu masters have all had their own unique ways of motivating pupils, Mr. Miyagi used bite sized poetic sentiments and unorthodox training, Master Splinter used a Father’s love but Master Funikura’s approach was a bit more, well, “hands-on”. Apparently, nothing motivates a young lady quite like a giant purple tentacle violently plunging in and out of her mouth. Yes this is the most tame screenshot I could find of them.


14. End credit jiggle physics.

It took a team of animators hours to render the glorious jiggle of Melona's mammaries from the ending sequences of episodes 2,3 & 9. Time well spent.
Check the end credits of episodes 2,3 & 9 for said jigglige

At the end of select episodes there are different credit sequences featuring the three baddie babes, Melona, Menace and Airi. It took a team of animators and colorists hours to render the glorious mammary jiggle of the end sequence. Time well spent. This would be more effective as a gif. Just imagine a jello mold on an airplane, during turbulence.


15. Nanael’s polkadot panties.

Queens-Blade-2-Nanael-panty-shot
Just one of the 1,000,000 Nanael shots of dopamine you’ll receive courtesy of your favorite gimp winged Angel.

Of all the gags that deserve a tally, the Nanael panty flash would be the clear winner. I lost count after 10. Its in every scene she’s in. I’ve seen her underwear more than I’ve seen my own. I see it in rorschach tests at the psychologist. When I doodle when listening to someone on the phone, her panties are what my subconscious scribbles out. You will have these little blueish dots burned into your soul.


16. Queen Aldra’s…thing.

Queen Aldra's spiked armored dildo thing has got to be one of the weirdest unexplained accessories I've ever seen in an Anime series. See it in all its glory in episode 12 @ 6:28. I envy her...girth.
Queen Aldra’s spiked armored dildo thing has got to be one of the weirdest unexplained accessories I’ve ever seen in an Anime series. See it in all its glory in episode 12 @ 6:28. I envy her girth.

There are some really strange moments in Queen’s Blade but all of them get at least a little explanation. Aldra’s, accessory didn’t. I suppose it has its uses if your having sex with a Terminator.


17. Aldra’s “true self”.

Aldra, one of the only normally proportioned characters in the series morphs into her "true form" in the final episode. In true Queen's Blade fashion, her true for just so happens to have F cup breasts.
Aldra’s final transformation. I know a doctor in Beverly Hills that does true form transformations for gals like Aldra 4 days a week.

She was one of the only normally proportioned characters in the series that wasn’t in the Loli club so its especially funny to see her morph into her “true form” in the final episode. In true Queen’s Blade fashion, her true form just so happens to have F cup breasts an a perfectly angled figure.


18. The opening of the Beautiful Warriors OVA.

Queen's Blade Beautiful Fighters intro
The intro to the OVA series tips you off you are in OVA territory now. The tops gloves are off.

Believe it or not they actually did show some restraint in the first two series since they were television shows. The OVA’s, however, found a way to do the impossible, ratchet up the perversion level and still keep it a tentacle penetration scene away from being classified as Hentai.


19. Titty snake bite.

Queen's Blade Beautiful Warriors EP 3 Melona Snake bite boob
EP 3 of Beautiful Warriors featured the long awaited return of the titty snake bite by the full time snake / part time underwear, Keltan.

Yes, they brought this gag back back from The Exiled Virgin and its still just as upsetting to see as before. Sadly, that medieval snake has gotten infinitely more action than mine has in years.


20. The tickling hands.

Queen's Blade Beautiful Warriots EP 5 tickling hands
The rapey tickling hands from episode 5 of Beautiful Warriors

I don’t remember my childhood tickle torture sessions involving underwear being pulled down but maybe thats all sessions at the psychologist talking.


21. Captain Liliana’s Starfish pasties

Queen's Blade Rebellion EP 1 Captain Liliana Starfish pasties
In true Queen’s Blade fashion “d’s” are out in the first few moments of the episode 1 of Rebellion.

I guess starfishes are fitting pasties for a pirate. Check out the echinoderms in all their glory in the first episode of Queen’s Blade Rebellion.


22. Luna Luna’s thing.

Queen's Blade Rebellion EP 1 Luna Luna Dance
Luna Luna during her dance in the first episode of Queen’s Blade Rebellion.

Just like Aldra’s, Luna Luna’s downstairs accessory go completely unexplained. I do love that its an elephant and if she insisted on wearing it out on a date I totally would be cool with it cuz Luna Luna is hot I’m understanding of cultures other than mine.


23. Rapey squid tentacles.

Queen's Blade Rebellion EP 2 Annelotte Squid
Annelotte and the Squid from episode 2 of Rebellion. Kinda sounds like an indie band name. Annelotte and the Squid.

I guess the appeal of getting underneath the panties is universal, every creature wants in, apparently even squid. The shark keeps jumping.


24. “Holy poses”.

Queen's Blade Rebellion Special 1 Sigui Holy Pose training
Sigui Holy Pose training and Annelotte scissoring practicing the “holy poses” in special episode 1 of Rebellion.

Yeah, as much as I want to believe this is what a Nuns life looks like behind the scenes, I very much doubt they are that flexible or have undergarments that skimpy modern.


25. Torture by nipple electrocution.

Queen's Blade Rebellion Special 3 Branwen Nipple electrocution
Warrior Branwen getting tortured in the special episode 3 of Rebellion.

After what seems like an eternity enturing the sexual hell of 4 entire series of Queen’s Blade, the graphic torture of a girl by electrocution to the genitals seems as tame watching a group of children play in the pool on a warm summer’s day.

Ace Dudeman
Ace Dudeman

He’s stronger and hotter than a bad girls dream. You can send your comments, questions or topless pictures to him at Ace (at) rawketlawnchair (dot) com.

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